Winter and Spring
by CSI4nsicAce
Summary: [VCR] If we had no Winter, the Spring would not be so pleasant. CD - minor character. - WIP
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to CSI.  
Please do not repost this story anywhere without my permission.  
Thanks, enjoy._

* * *

_"If we had no Winter, the Spring would not be so pleasant." - Anne Bradstreet_

* * *

He paced the airport arrival terminal, his mind miles away with the woman who was flying in. There were 15 minutes left in her 6 hour flight, and he was anxious, antsy. Her voice that typically projected strength had trembled so on the phone a few hours earlier that counting down each minute to holding her in his arms felt like an eternity.

* * *

_He had been sleeping when his cell phone rang, so it took 4 rings for him to pick up. He wasn't even able to manage a groggy hello before the caller spoke a hurried, "Lou, I need help." _

_Hearing her voice waver and her plea, he was instantly alert. "Catherine? What's wrong?"_

_"She's gone," her voice trembled, but she continued, "Lindsey's gone."_

_His heart broke with each break in her voice. "Catherine…"_

_Determined to continue, she talked over him so she would get through to him without breaking down again. "Car crash. She's gone."_

_Parents were supposed to go first. How did one cope with losing a child? His mind jumped to wondering where Jake might be at the moment. He had talked with him a few days prior. Surely, he was fine. Right? "Catherine…"_

_With 30 minutes until boarding time, Catherine repeated, "Lou, I need help."_

* * *

_"Where is she? Where is she?" _Lou thought while he continued to pace. By his watch, her flight had just landed.

"I'm flying in from New York," she had said in her call. "Meet me at the airport."

New York, where she had positively identified Lindsey's remains. She'd already flown from D.C. to New York that day and was now flying to Vegas. _"She shouldn't be alone any longer. Where is she?"_

He first spotted her dragging her carryon and gazing at the floor while she walked. He walked up to her and called "Catherine," when he was a few feet away so as not to startle her.

Her eyes lifted from the ground and rimmed with tears once again. He closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms to let her know she was no longer alone – she had someone to lean on. "I've got you…I've got you," he whispered into her hair.

"Can we go? Please?" she mumbled into his shirt.

Lou shifted to pull the carryon with one hand and hold Catherine with the other, slowly guiding her to the car.

* * *

"My place okay?" he asked, dutifully driving, yet not knowing a destination.

She nodded. She had curled up in the seat, and her gaze drifted out the window to watch the past fly by. She watched moments when Lindsey was a baby, an ever curious child, and a teenager testing her boundaries. She recalled moving Lindsey to New York for college and their newfound relationship now that they didn't live under the same roof. She sighed as she watched the happy memories disappear with the scenery, and he squeezed her hand that met his at the center console.

* * *

Lou managed to bring Catherine back to his house and get her seated on the couch. "Water? Tea?" he asked.

She patted the couch in response, forgoing beverages for his company. He complied, and as soon as he sat on the couch, she scooted over to rest against his chest. His arms instinctively wrapped around her, and he kissed the top of her head. "I'm so, so sorry Catherine. I'm here for you. Whatever you need."

Her tears started again, and she cried in the comfort of his arms. Her tears mingled with broken cries of "she's gone," causing Lou to hold her tighter and slowly rock her through the pain.

* * *

A time later, spent, she continued the conversation she had started on the phone. "They're flying her in Wednesday. Wake on Thursday. The funeral will be on Friday."

He mentally calculated that they would have two days to get things in order before Wednesday. "What can I help with?"

"Everything," she paused and sighed, "Details of the arrangements with the funeral director. Phone calls – I can't make the calls. Being there to hold."

He caught the small smile at the corner of her mouth with her last statement when she shifted in his arms to face him. Returning the smile, he tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. "Have you talked to Jake?" she asked, holding his gaze.

"Yes, while I was waiting to head to the airport. He's home and all is well. He still plans on coming in next week for Christmas."

"Good."

Though her mind actively sought distractions from the topic at hand, she knew burrowing wouldn't make the situation any easier, so she got back on track. "She was leaving New York to come visit me over Winter break. It was a surprise," her voice cracked and she dropped her eyes, "some surprise."

Lou rubbed her shoulders.

She continued, "It was an accident. She was going too fast, too many distractions, and she hit a utility pole. And she's gone. Gone."

Catherine crumpled once again and all Lou could do was hold her in his arms and let her pain fall in large teardrops against his shirt.

* * *

Lou left Catherine sleeping on the couch and migrated to the study to begin making phone calls. She had scratched a list of contacts on the plane, and he started the heavy task of poring through her phone contacts and making the necessary calls. "I regret to inform you that Lindsey Willows has passed," he would say, followed by the arrangements for the wake and funeral. He accepted the streams of condolences and asked that Catherine be left to grieve privately at this time.

Predictably, against his advice, some wanted to see Catherine. "Vartann, you tell her we're coming by," Brass said, mentioning Nick, Sara, and Grissom, "She can pick the day and time, but you tell her we're coming. She shouldn't be alone."

Lou agreed. She wouldn't be alone. Of all of the mourners who could have stopped by, narrowing it down to a handful seemed manageable.

Completing all of the calls on her list, Lou left the study to begin making her a light dinner.

* * *

"Chicken soup?" Catherine questioned, leaning against the archway to the kitchen.

Lou turned from stirring the pot at the stove to find Catherine wrapped in the blanket that he had tossed over her on the couch. She looked better than before – exhausted, yet her eyes were no longer red with tears. "With toast. And I might be able to find some ice cream in the freezer for dessert if you're up to it after." Lou pointed his chin toward the dining table. "Have a seat. I'll be right over."

Catherine took a seat at the table and watched as Lou finished preparing the soup. "What would you like to drink?" he asked after plating the soup and toast.

"Scotch," she deadpanned.

"You know I don't have that, Cath," he replied.

"I know." She looked down at the table. "It feels like a scotch kind of day, though." She returned her eyes to his. "Water will be fine."

Lou added two glasses of water to the tray of food and brought it over to the table. He took the seat next to hers and distributed the food between them. "You have everything you need?" he asked.

She nodded and squeezed his knee, foregoing words when emotion threatened to creep to the surface again. _"Lindsey's missing," _she thought.

He squeezed her hand. He'd be there to give her whatever she needed.


	2. Chapter 2

"Thank you, Lou, for dinner, for … everything," Catherine stated, pushing her half-finished bowl of soup away from her. "I'll pass on the dessert."

"You're welcome. It's no trouble. Like I said, whatever you need, I'm here," Lou replied, clearing their dishes from the table. He continued their conversation while he cleaned up at the sink. "The bedroom is prepped for you. I brought your bag in there for you, and you know where to find the fresh towels in the bathroom."

"Will you join me?" she requested, "Hold me?"

Her request was reminiscent of a child seeking comfort from a parent after a nightmare. Except turning on the lights and looking under the bed wouldn't ease her nightmare – her child was gone. "Of course," he replied, "go ahead and start getting ready for bed. I'll be there shortly."

* * *

He found her curled up on top of the blankets, facing away from the door. She had changed into a tank top and shorts. He took a moment to admire her beautiful frame before stripping to his boxers and resting beside her. "This okay?" he asked, pulling her into his arms.

She nodded and twisted to give him a brief peck on the lips. "Thank you," she replied, nestling further into his arms.

"Try to get some sleep," he coaxed into her ear, "Don't be afraid to wake me if you need me."

* * *

He woke to a thud and a slight curse of "Dammit!" He outstretched his arm to search for the voice's owner, yet the bed was empty. "Catherine?" he called.

Her head unceremoniously perked up from the floor, only her eyes and tousled hair visible above the mattress. "Haven't done that in a while," she muttered, pulling herself up off of the floor and back into bed.

Lou peeled back the covers and wrapped her into a cocoon. "Remember that time in Virginia when you reached for the alarm and face planted?" Lou chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, "I had to hold peas to your face because I was worried you'd given yourself a shiner."

"Very funny, Copper," she said sternly, poking his chest in time with her words, "maybe you're the one who's been pushing me out of bed. Trying to kill me."

"If I wanted you dead, I would have killed you a long time ago," he playfully retorted without thinking.

She recoiled and went silent. "I'm sorry," Lou whispered into her ear, holding her tighter in his arms.

"You were kidding, I know," she sighed, "I used to say that to Linds when she'd accuse me of trying to kill her with cooking, rules, love…"

Lou paused to let her reminisce in silence before kissing her neck and saying, "Let's try to get some more sleep."

Catherine closed her eyes again, yet all she could see were memories of Lindsey painting the darkness of her mind.

* * *

Lou woke alone again, Catherine's side of the bed cool to the touch. He proceeded through his morning ritual, giving himself time to clear his head and prepare for helping Catherine through the day.

Showering, his thoughts drifted to when he had last seen Catherine at Thanksgiving. It had been his third trip to Virginia, and though they were only able to spend a few days together, she had been so happy with his company. They had haphazardly pieced together a holiday meal that ended in Lou carrying her off to bed when she complained about the preparation of his buns. "I'll show you buns," he had teased and kissed the smirk off of her face before making love to her.

When they were together, they fell into being a couple so easily. They traded banter, spoke of the day's trials, and had a hard time keeping their hands off of each other. However, when their visits came to a close, being a couple was more difficult. Their future was in the process of being defined, and the prospect of separating was a subject that made them both uncomfortable. He was looking into possibilities of transferring to Virginia, yet it was taking time for him to become comfortable with the idea and they still had some differences to work out. He sighed – some days, it was just easier to stay in bed with his love in his arms.

Ending his shower, Lou pushed his thoughts of past visits aside. This visit was unlike any other. Catherine had lost her daughter, and she needed him to help her make it through the long days ahead. Their past discussions would wait.

Ruffling his hair and donning sweatpants and a t-shirt, Lou padded out to the living room. His first sight was a giant game of memory, with pictures taking the places of the cards. Nearly 100 pictures had been laid out, each depicting milestones in Lindsey's life. His eyes passed over Lindsey's first steps, first day of school, prom, musical performances, other occasions with friends and family. His eyes continued across the grid until he found Catherine standing at the unfinished corner of the grid, reliving another memory in her hands. "When I moved Lindsey into her dorm," Catherine stated, turning the picture around for him to see.

He hadn't realized she had noticed his presence. "She didn't want me to take the picture," she continued, "It wasn't cool to have mom in the dorm."

Catherine bent to place the picture into the grid, then returned to shuffling through the albums she had stacked on the side table. She found another memory and held it for him to see. "These are the last pictures I have of her from the summer when we went to see a show together. She had given me her typical groan of 'Mo-om' when I asked someone to take this picture, but she was trying to be funny. She was growing up," she said wistfully, placing the picture into the grid.

She was talking. "_This is healthy,_" Lou thought. To keep the conversation going, Lou replied, "Remember when you told me that you thought she had given you the slip and left you to make it back to the hotel on the subway by yourself?"

Catherine gave a small smile with the memory. "She watched me panic for a minute, then popped out from behind a corner to drag me to a coffee shop that she was excited to show me." She shook her head slightly. "Always giving me a hard time."

Catherine surveyed all of the pictures before her. Satisfied that the necessary pictures had been laid out, Catherine closed the albums. "I couldn't sleep," Catherine stated, seemingly providing justification for her actions, "I had packed these, and I needed to keep myself busy with something."

"How long have you been up?" he inquired.

"A while," she replied, not wanting to go into the detail that she had been up since he had fallen asleep, "Can we get some foam board later today to mount these? They need to go to the funeral home."

He accepted Catherine's deflection, knowing she'd likely have trouble sleeping. "Sure. Breakfast?"

Her hands moved to her hips. "You know, I only eat this well when you're around."

"Maybe I should be around more often," he returned, heading to the kitchen before she could reply.

"_Indeed, you should,_" she thought, keeping her comments at bay and dropping to the couch to wait for breakfast. She wouldn't start a conversation she wasn't in the frame of mind to finish.

* * *

He kept breakfast light with oatmeal and orange juice. Despite the small amount he had put into her bowl, she was picking at it before she was halfway through. "_Add trouble eating to trouble sleeping,_" he mentally noted, wanting to keep an eye on her, "_Best not to push it now."_

He opted to update her on his progress. "I finished making all of the phone calls that you requested. Everyone sends their condolences of course."

Catherine nodded, showing more interest in picking at her oatmeal than having conversation.

"A couple folks from the lab would like to stop by." She furrowed her brow, but he pushed on. "Brass, Nick, Sara, Grissom. Maybe some others."

"I – I don't know," she hesitated. She had requested to be left alone.

Lou broached the subject carefully. "Cath, I know we didn't talk about this yet, but I'm going to need to go in to work tomorrow and Wednesday so I can be with you Thursday and Friday." She finally met his eyes and all he could see was sadness. "I think you might want some company while I'm away."

She held her stare at him, yet didn't reply, so he babbled, "I did the best I could to get the days off on short notice."

He watched her eyes flash from sadness to anger. Absent a way to bring her daughter back, she lashed out at him. "Well, I'm sorry I couldn't schedule my daughter's death for a more convenient time!"

As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew they were unfair. Her hands covered her mouth as if to push the words back in. She didn't mean what she said. Lou's features were marred with hurt, which only fed her spiraling feeling of losing control. Her breaths came in pants as she panicked. She abruptly stood and glanced toward the front entrance. "I'm – I'm going for a walk," she stuttered and fumbled toward the door.

Lou sprung from the table and followed her. His mind shouted, "_Fix this! Calm her down!"_ "Catherine," he pleaded, his words spouting in a frenzied jumble, "Catherine – you don't need to go – it's my fault – I keep saying the wrong things – you're hurting..."

Embarrassed, she rushed to grab her cell phone and keys, blocking out the chaos she had caused around her. She couldn't face him, so she spoke at the door, "I need to clear my head. Give me an hour. I'll be back."

Lou knew he lost her when she had the door open before he could reply. "Okay," he said in defeat as the door slammed behind her.

"Dammit!" he yelled, taking out his frustration by slamming his fist down on the table. Their breakfast dishes rattled with the jumble of thoughts in his mind. "Dammit!"

He was left with an overwhelming feeling of "_Omigod, what did I do?_"


	3. Chapter 3

Lou scrambled to answer his cell phone when it rang. He had been pacing with it clenched in his hand for the past half hour, worried where Catherine had gone alone in her distress. "Catherine?" he answered, concern flooding his voice.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," her voice came in sobs across the line.

He ignored the needless apologies and focused on her wellbeing. "Where are you?"

"The park. I – I can't make it back." She shuddered as she took another breath. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He was out the door and behind the wheel as soon as he knew where she was. His mind immediately jumped to the worst conclusions. "Are you hurt? In danger?"

"No."

"Stay where you are. Stay on the line. I'm coming."

* * *

All he could do was repeat "It's going to be okay" and "I'm coming" while he heard her sob uncontrollably intermingled with statements of "I'm sorry" over the line. His pulse hastened in fear of what he would find as he raced to the park and scanned the area for her form. The woman on the phone sounded much different than his Catherine – even so much more vulnerable than the woman that had left his house on foot. "_Where did her thoughts possibly go in half an hour?"_ he thought. He moved in the direction of the swing sets as he recalled one of the memories lining his living room was of Lindsey grinning as she was pushed on a swing toward the sky.

He returned his cell phone to his pocket when he found Catherine sitting on a swing, arms wrapped around the chains to hold herself up. Her back was slumped in defeat and shook with sobs. He could hear her mantra of "I'm sorry," continue as he moved closer, her words repeating as if she was apologizing to her daughter for being unable to protect her, unable to save her. Thankfully, it was early enough and the park was fairly empty – she hadn't drawn a crowd. "I'm here, I've got you," he assured, landing on his knees in front of the swing, detangling her arms from the chains, and pulling her to the ground into his arms.

She continued her chants of "I'm sorry" at the air as he desperately tried to hold her together in his arms. His fear lessened now that he had confirmed she was physically safe, yet he felt overwhelmingly unprepared for her emotional state. "_The walk was supposed to clear her head, make things better,"_ he thought, "_What the hell happened?"_ Tears trailed down his face as he rocked her, her repeated words piercing his heart, making it bleed for her and her lost daughter.

* * *

The 5 minute drive home stretched to an eternity when he couldn't hold her while she cried. He was able to get her to the car when her sobs softened to shudders, yet now driving, all he could do was reach for her shoulder or brush her back when he stopped at a stop sign. Anything to keep her in touch with reality and let her know he was there.

He carried her into the house and maneuvered straight to the bathroom, not knowing what he could do to help her and hoping that a bath would be calming. "I'll run you a bath," he explained, holding her in his arms on the floor while the water came to temperature. He needed to feel like he could do something, anything to help her.

Her tears gradually stopped, yet Catherine kept her head burrowed in his shoulder. "I'm still wearing my sleep shorts," she noted after a few minutes, her voice still muffled from the cloudy haze she had entered. "_What else have I missed?_" she thought.

He would have laughed had the circumstances been much different. "_As if going out in sleep shorts is the worst of her problems,"_ he thought, yet he was relieved that her tears had subsided and he had hope that his Catherine would slowly return. "Yes, honey," he responded, turning off the taps as the tub filled, "let's get you into the bath."

He helped her disrobe and settle into the tub before assuming vigil beside the tub, brushing the top of her head with his fingers. Confident that he was having success calming her, he let his mind drift to fonder memories to calm himself.

* * *

_The only time she had visited him in Las Vegas had been late May when she had closed the sale of her house. He had originally planned to take her out for a celebratory dinner, yet when she returned to his house, exhaustion dripped with the sweat from her pores. "How about a quiet night in," he had suggested, changing plans on the fly, "a bath, some light dinner, some –" _

_"Wine," she added, interrupting and pointing at the bag she had left on the counter, "I picked it up on the way over."_

_"Wine it is. Sound okay?"_

_"More than. I'll get the bath ready while you get the food," Catherine responded, disappearing into the bedroom._

_He took his time slicing and plating cheese and vegetables and pouring a glass of wine for her and iced tea for himself. When he entered the bathroom, he found Catherine in the tub, her head resting against the back with her eyes closed. "Come on in, I'm waiting for you," she said, skimming the top of the water with her fingers._

_He set their tray of food on the ledge of the tub before disrobing and sinking into the water next to her. She shifted into the crook of his shoulder and reached for her glass of wine and a piece of cheese. They nibbled for a few minutes in silence before Catherine stated, "Thank you, Lou," and turned to meet him for a kiss._

_They lounged until their food and drink was finished and the water had become tepid. Catherine traded nibbling on food for nibbling on Lou's lips and letting her hands wander his muscled back and tight ass. His hands caressed her breasts and stroked her back until he felt the tub digging into his spine and decided they would both be more comfortable in the bedroom._

_She whimpered at the loss of his lips and slight chill of the air on her wet body when he pulled her from the tub. He quickly wrapped her in a towel to stifle the chill and led her to bed, where her whimpers would only be of pleasure as they slowly and passionately made love._

* * *

"Lou, I'm exhausted," Catherine admitted, her eyes closed as he continued to stroke her hair a half hour later.

He turned to face her, his eyes sweeping across her features, noting they were much more relaxed – the strain had depleted, taking her energy along with it. He leaned in to softly kiss her eyelids, her forehead, her cheeks, as if to check that she was physically intact despite her emotional turmoil. "I'm okay," she whispered, meeting his eyes and catching his lips with hers before he could retreat.

Their definitions of okay differed at the moment, yet they could agree that she was doing much better than before. He cupped her cheek in his palm and looked through her eyes, seeking to connect and hold onto his Catherine. "You scared me," he admitted, mentally adding that scared was a vast understatement for the feelings evoked by the emotions he had witnessed in the past 18 hours.

She glanced away, ashamed. "I scared me," she returned, shaking her head. "I'm not ready to talk yet," she acknowledged, her mind still trying to piece together the chaos of the morning.

He nodded and felt the water with his free hand, noting that it had tempered along with her anguish. "How about we go sit in bed, and I can hold you, and you can try to sleep?"

At her nod, he guided her from the tub, dried her with a towel, and helped her into a fresh t-shirt and shorts. He piled the pillows onto his side of the bed so he could rest sitting up with Catherine laying against his chest. He resumed lazily stroking her hair, hoping the repetitive motion was as soothing for her as it was for him. "You can have Jim come by tomorrow," she said against his chest, "and Gil on Wednesday."

"I can –" he started, but she cut him off.

"It's fine, Lou," she paused, her shame lingering, "I really am sorry."

"_I could stand going without those words for a very long time," _he thought. "Please don't apologize," he assured her, "I'm here for whatever you need."

Her mind returned to wandering. "I don't think I'm in any shape to go out later," she realized.

Grasping for stress relief, his mind jumped to, "_I could find your sleep shorts again," _yet he avoided their usual banter given their tumultuous morning. He felt like parsing his words would protect them from a repeat of the morning that he felt responsible for. Regardless, he sure wasn't leaving her alone. "How about I call Nick later this morning. Ask him to help with whatever you need."

She considered the offer, then meandered through her jumbled mental checklist of what needed to be completed. "That will be okay. I need the foam board, the dress for Lindsey," she listed and kept thinking, "Dammit, I didn't bring a dress for myself," her mind wandered for a moment before she landed on what Nick could help with, "Why don't you ask Nick to bring the foam board?"

Lou nodded. "I can pick up the dresses before shift tomorrow. I know you don't want to go out, but maybe you'll want to pick them out on the computer."

"There's something else I need help with."

"Hmmm?"

"The obituary needs to go in today."

"I can work on it while you sleep. Have you take a look when you're ready."

"I started it – it's on my computer."

"Okay."

She thought that was all she needed for now. "Thank you."

She threaded her fingers through his and settled into his chest, slipping into sleep. Lou released a sigh of relief – for the moment, she was at peace.


	4. Chapter 4

She rolled out of his arms in sleep, her legs splayed like a base runner sliding to escape an impending tag. His eyes trailed the line of her body several times, grateful for the steady rise and fall of her chest and the solace of sleep. Assured that she was at peace, he took the opportunity to step out – he had phone calls to make and he needed her laptop.

He passed through the living room, his eyes drawn to the pictures that still covered the floor. He wanted to hide the memories of the morning, yet he'd need to wait for Catherine to know what to do with them.

Moving to the kitchen, his eyes met the dishes left behind from the morning. "_I'll clean those up after,"_ he noted. He poured himself a glass of iced tea and set out to start making phone calls.

His first phone call was Nick. _"C'mon man, just foam board?" Nick had asked, hoping he'd be able to do more._

_"You could bring a light dinner as well," Lou had suggested, "It's your company she'll appreciate more than anything, though."_

His second phone call was Jim, who agreed to come by the next day. _"How's she doing?" Jim had asked._

_Inconsolable described their morning. Peaceful described her present state, but who knew how long that would last. "Okay," Lou had settled for her earlier term's overloaded definition._

His last phone call was Gil. _"Can I talk to her?" he had requested._

_"She's sleeping right now," Lou relayed._

_Grissom paused for a moment, searching for the right words to share, yet settling for, "Then can you tell her I'm sorry?"_

Lou ended his last phone call. Palms against the counter, he leaned his shoulders over his hands, his elbows locked, and blew a breath of frustration. "_I'm going to need to stop reacting to sorry," _Lou thought, "_I'm certainly going to hear it a lot later this week._"

Lou focused his attention on the dishes, scrubbing away the remnants from the morning. Like the dishes, she had a tough outer shell, yet he knew her pain wouldn't wash away that easily.

* * *

After finding her laptop, he returned to sitting by her side. He typed "LVVANY0MI" to gain access to the laptop. He was met with a wistful memory of when she had set the password.

* * *

_She had cooked for him at her house after shift to give them the opportunity to talk through the details of her move. He had stayed away for three weeks: the first and second, she was recovering from her gunshot wound and occasionally visiting him at his house, and the third, she had decided to start the major packing. He had spent the morning trying to ignore the boxes she had stacked in the living room. He was supposed to fly out to Virginia for a few days the following week to help her unpack them. The bitter thought of "Why is she packing at all?" tinged his mind, yet he already had the answer – with the promise of a new job, she had welcomed the opportunity to leave Vegas behind._

_After their meal, they sat at the dining room table, sipping coffee and fiddling with her new laptop. "Lindsey says it's better for FaceTime," Catherine had indicated when she made the purchase, trying to let him know that she was making an effort to be able to see him, albeit virtually. He hoped he'd have better luck using it with her than he'd had with Jake. _

_"I'll have a three site family now," she had explained. _

_He understood she was happy, yet it would take him more than the 3 weeks he had known for him to warm to the idea that she was moving so far away. His brow furrowed, concentrating more on his thoughts and the coffee than the conversation. "The look on your face says Las Vegas, Virginia, New York, oh my!" she teased. _

_He scowled._

_"Look – it's prompting me for a password. How about L-V-V-A-N-Y-0-M-I?" she emphasized each character, staring at him and giving him a hard time._

_He stared back, yet didn't take the bait. Two could play that game. "Why the zero?"_

_"It needed a number."_

_"I need you."_

_He had her pinned against the wall, assaulting her lips with kisses before she could respond. He took her swiftly as if to drive his point of "Please don't leave" deep within her walls so they'd be inseparable._

_The next week, she left._

* * *

The obituary she had started was still open on the computer. He skimmed it, noting she had taken care of the familial details. He thought it looked good as is, yet he added where Lindsey attended school for Catherine's consideration.

To fill his idle time, he wandered the Internet, looking for a dress Catherine might like, what to get her for Christmas, and an array of other topics in between. Shopping certainly wasn't his forte, yet he thought he would be helping Catherine if he tried narrowing down some of the dress choices. At least the more time he spent searching, the less time his mind was idle to spend worrying about her.

* * *

She woke early evening to a dull pain behind her eyes and the occasional click of a keyboard. "Hey, Lou," she said, unmoving.

"Hey, you," he returned, closing his browser window of Christmas gifts and setting her laptop aside. "How you doing?" he asked, resting his hand on her arm.

She pulled herself to a sitting position and hunched over, resting her elbows on her knees, her hands pressing against her eye sockets. "Headache," she explained.

He moved to get up to fetch Tylenol and water from the bathroom, yet her hand around his forearm held him back. "I'll get it. It's not that bad. I have to get up anyway," she said.

She returned after a few minutes looking refreshed, her hair pulled into a ponytail. "Whatcha been up to?" she asked, crawling back into bed and leaning against his shoulder.

He pointed toward her laptop. "I took a look at the obituary that you prepared – you did a great job, by the way – and I've been looking at dresses for you."

"You? Trying to pick out a dress?" she feigned shock.

"Why so surprised? I am a sharply dressed man, thank you," he played along, mimicking tightening a tie.

"Who dresses women?"

"You certainly don't complain when I undress them."

"Them?"

"Oh, very funny. Like I could handle more than one of you."

"There is only one me."

"Thank God."

She tickled his sides, taking pleasure in watching him squirm. He tickled her back until they were both laughing and panting for air. "Truce?" he asked.

She nodded and sealed their truce with a kiss. "Now, let's see those dresses," she declared.

* * *

"Lou, this one looks downright awful," she announced, pointing at the laptop on her lap.

He peeked over her shoulder. "It reminded me of the one you wore when you took me on your tour of D.C. and got us lost at the National Mall."

"So that one was awful too?" she challenged.

"That's not what I'm saying, and you know that. You look beautiful in anything. Even nothing," he added.

She took the compliment. "I might, but that dress won't," she scoffed.

She cycled through a few more pages of dresses before she found one for herself. Then she remembered, "_Oh, Lindsey," _which led her to shake her head and push her laptop to her knees. She didn't want to think about picking her dress now.

"_Oh, dammit, the obituary,"_ she remembered, pulling the laptop back to her lap.

Lou watched her internal struggle, punctuated by the movement of the laptop and frown gracing her face, yet he didn't intervene, giving her the space to work it out. She navigated to the obituary that was still open and he looked over her shoulder again. "All I added was her college, Cath. Like I said, you did a great job," he reiterated.

Catherine reread the obituary a couple of times. "I like that. I'd like to add her major in theatre as well. She so loved singing and dancing."

"Like her Mom," he said, kissing her temple.

"Singing? Not so much," she rebuffed.

"C'mon, I know you sing a mean Happy Birthday," he encouraged.

"If you replace happy with crappy," she grumbled, returning her attention to the laptop, indicating the conversation was over.

Catherine finished her edits and e-mailed the obituary to the funeral director. "_One more thing done,"_ she thought.

"Nick should be here soon," Lou noted, checking his watch.

"We better clean up, then."

* * *

Lou and Catherine emerged from the bedroom wearing jeans and t-shirts. "Let's get these picked up," Catherine stated, gesturing her arm across the room at the pictures she had worked on. "Just stack them for now," Catherine instructed, "then they can get stuck to the foam board once Nick gets here."

"Cath, I can get these," he stated, reaching for her shoulder and trying to get her to avoid the task of going through the memories yet again.

She shooed his hand away. "I'll help. I've got it, don't worry about it."

Catherine lingered looking at some of the pictures as she picked them up. She paused at Lindsey's high school graduation picture, seemingly looking through the portal into the past. "I think it's the loss of promise of a future that makes it hardest," Catherine stated. "I can hold on to memories of the past, yet I can't see dreams materialize in the future."

Lou stopped picking up pictures and looked over at her, the graduation picture shaking in her hand. "What would my little girl have worn on her wedding day?" she considered. "What would my grandkids have looked like?"

"Catherine," he interrupted her thoughts, trying to pull her back into the present.

A knock at the door caused both of them to freeze. "Shit," she cursed.

"Stall for me," she pleaded, pushing the pictures into Lou's hands and disappearing back into the bedroom.

"_I should have tried harder,"_ he thought. "Nick, I'll be right there," he called to the door, rushing to pick up the remainder of the pictures.

* * *

"Hey, man, thanks for coming," Lou stated, opening the door to Nick.

Nick carried a few large pieces of foam board under one arm and takeout and beer in the other. Lou relieved Nick of the foam board and welcomed him inside. "No problem. Where's Catherine?" Nick asked, not seeing her in the living room or the kitchen as he scanned the rooms from the entranceway.

"I'll be out in 5 minutes, Nicky!" Catherine shouted from the bedroom.

Lou shook his head that she had been listening in. "I brought your favorite takeout and beer," Nick hollered back, "and cards, if you're up for it."

He was offering her a distraction, which she eagerly clung to with all of her strength. Her tone was bright and masked the pain she experienced minutes earlier. "Hope you're ready to lose!" she returned.

Lou steered Nick to the kitchen so they could setup the takeout and talk without being overheard. "She's had a long day," Lou explained unnecessarily.

"When we lost Warrick, we all took it pretty hard," Nick recalled, "some days we'd go out after shift and play cards at the diner just to keep our mind off things. I know this isn't nearly the same, but I've got to do something to help, and being here for her is the best way I know to take care of her."

"_We all just want to help,"_ Lou thought. "Thanks, Nick," he replied.

* * *

When Catherine entered the bathroom through the bedroom, she stared at herself in the mirror and forced herself to take slow, deep breaths. "_Breathe, Catherine, breathe,_" Catherine chided herself, willing herself not to cry for what felt like the thousandth time that day. She patted her cheeks. "_Snap out of it. You have a present standing in the other room that could give you a future."_

Satisfied that she stopped the immediate threat of tears, she reentered the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, listening to the conversation in the hall. "I'll be out in 5 minutes, Nicky!" she shouted when she heard him question where she was.

She welcomed the prospect of a distraction with open arms.

* * *

_The last time she had played cards, it had been strip poker with Lou. She had gone from fully clothed to skirt and a top in a matter of a few hands. "You're cheating! You're purposely trying to lose!" he accused her when she removed her bra from beneath her blouse and tossed it aside after losing another hand. _

_"Whatcha gonna do about it, Copper," she taunted, leaning over._

_He couldn't take his eyes off of her breasts that were now fully visible through the deep vee of her blouse. He reached his hand out to touch her skin, to cup one of her warm, supple breasts in his hand, yet she pushed his hand away before he made contact. "Oh, no – no touching," she scolded, "game's not over yet."_

_Begrudgingly, he groaned and dealt another hand. She lost again, this time removing her panties from beneath her skirt. "Game over," he declared, tackling her to the floor and removing the rest of her clothing with his own hands._

* * *

They were seated at the table, takeout plated, when she returned. "Hey, Cath," Nick greeted her, standing and pulling her in for a big hug. "I'm so, so sorry."

Lou stiffened at the words, yet Catherine pulled back and stated, "Thanks. So where are those cards?"

They settled in to eat dinner and play hand after hand of cards.


End file.
